What a stressful week I've had. My oldest child is starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, and although I knew this would be challenging and a transition for both of us, I grossly underestimated how much it would affect me. I feel like I"m in mourning for her babyhood.

We also are in the process of changing childcare providers for our girls. Logistical issues have dictated the need for this, as the existing childcare arrangement is in a neighboring town, not convenient to the new school. Finding daycare has been a challenge and more stressful than I thought. Again, I underestimated myself and the situation. I have found a good situation and I'm in the process of checking the last of the references. So far it all looks good although I got a scare yesterday around it. I guess there was a rumor about the quality of care at the place we're considering, and when I learned about that I totally fell apart. I was crying at the daycare center and couldn't manage to go to work until I collected myself. I've been on the emotional edge lately anyway, so it's time for the tears to flow.

I just feel a lot like a juggler these days, a juggler with too many balls in the air. And I've been functioning in the mode of "do it yourself" which is dangerous for me. I always need to ask for help, to remember to reach out to my support network, to cry on the shoulders of my women friends. I finally did that on Wednesday night at a woman's AA meeting. About 6 of the women stayed after the meeting and listened to me cry and talked to me for an hour. I've never had that experience before and it was wonderful. These women and this program is such a blessing in my life.

I'm grateful. Money is tighter than ever, but I'm starting to see progress on the home front. Hubby is ready to change his ways in terms of how he lives, cleaning up, putting things away, and the like. I am rejoicing. Let the sky open up and the angels sing! Have a good weekend. I'll try to post again soon.

Here are two of my greatest blessings.