Weekends: now vs. then

When I was in my 20's (and very actively using) my weekends typically began on Thursdays with a night out to the bars. I then generally binged all weekend on alcohol and whatever else might have been floating around (I heard it said at an AA meeting once that "alcohol was my first love but I wasn't always faithful"). By Sunday morning I was generally feeling like shit and occasionally remorseful at whatever craziness I might have engaged in during the last 48 or so hours. (My antics ranged from going home with total strangers to sleeping with the significant others of my good friends, to telling total strangers the deepest secrets of myself and others. I was a messy drunk.) I was also usually in a fair amount of physical pain by that time, feeling totally hung over and very ill. Even so I would gorge on large amounts of brunchy type foods to try to heal myself. This was when I was still a social drunk. By my late 20's I isolated and drank alone all weekend, and generally vented myself on my unfortunate roommates and their friends, or reached out and touched someone via the good old classic "drink and dial". I've made lots of amends and there are still lots to make.

Wow, things are very different today. It happens to be another Sunday, and today I am home alone with the kids as hubby is at an all day AA event. We have been up since around 8 (nicely late for us) and have already snuggled on our big lazy boy chair, ate spaghetti for breakfast (a 5 year old request I honored) and are playing until I am done blogging, folding laundry and getting dressed. Then I have promised to take my children to the playground. I am praying that it won't rain and ruin this plan. If it does I will have to quickly manufacture a Plan B involving some other type of outing to avoid a cooped up day in the house and a possible mutiny. If you haven't experienced a 5 year old mutiny perhaps you can relate to the analogy of promising your dog a walk, even going to the point of showing her the leash, and then changing your mind.

I am neither hung over nor in a bad mood this morning. I am grateful for both facts. We all went to a meeting last night as a family and I stayed in the nursery watching about 8 kids, only 2 of which were mine. Imagine being trusted with other people's children, and feeling worthy of that trust. Another miracle. Hubby and I had a very nice day yesterday, we are feeling solid. We spent time out in the yard yesterday here at our place, basking in the warmth of spring. Several of our cats joined us, along with the children, and it was a nice 'homey' kind of scene. I am blessed to be sober today. I am not remorseful, I am grateful. Such a difference.